Chronic Fatigue

It’s been around 3 weeks in which my powerchair arrived.
I’ve wanted to share some benifits I’ve seen in myself plus some not so great things that have come along with it:

Pros:

1. I have less pain overall.
Especially in my touchy spots that have regular pain.

2. My brain came back! After being lost in Fibro Fog for many years…it finally made its way back to shore. I’ve realised that exercise (for me personally) greatly made migraines and brain fog worse.
Now, that it doesn’t take a huge amount of physical effort and pain to do normal tasks…my brain came back to think things with me. I thought I lost him forever!

3. I am capable of living life!
For the last year especially I did very little apart from lay in bed. I was depressed and never felt that I could have any independence for myself because I never had the strength to do the things I personally wanted to do.
My mind was willing, but I never had the strength or stamina to execute my plans.

4. I’m planning future independence because now I know I can…

Cons:

1. Feeling not disabled enough for a powerchair.
I’m stuck in this grey area where I feel too disabled to be normal but not disabled enough to be considered disabled.

2. Imposter Syndrome!
I keep thinking that I’m just not trying hard enough. That I’m lying about my fatigue etc…even though it’s been diagnosed twice!
I keep thinking I could do all the new things I’ve been doing if I only tried hard enough, which I know is untrue.

3. Feeling like I have to justify using a powerchair and I relay my entire life story to strangers so they won’t think I’m being an idiot or lazy!

4. And finally mourning who I used to be. Don’t get me wrong I’m thankful for my elevated independence but I do mourn who I used to be. Before everything, the Fibromyalgia the Anorexia etc…
I live in the same area in which I spent the later part of my teen years…and everywhere I look there is a memory of who I once was. I’ve never allowed myself to mourn, or even process how I truly felt about nearly dying from Anorexia in 2012.
I just carried on…some feelings I have are too deep for words and only God and I can truly experience them.

Anyways that’s all for now!
I hope you all have a Happy Sabbath tomorrow to any fellow Adventists…and a lovely weekend to all the Mighties! 🥰❤️💕🦄🌠 God Bless

Today is the first day of summer in Iceland, that is according to the old calender. In the old days people only thought of two seasons, winter and summer. Today begins the month of Harpa according to old times. We Icelanders find this old custum quite ironic because very often the weather on this day is Rain, snow, much wind or all three in a mix. 😒😒😒 In modern times we think of the year in four seasons and the names of the months are the same as in other countries ( janúar/january, febrúar/February etc.). 🤔🙂💐🍰🫖

So, I decided a little bit ago that I would change universities and try to finish my psychology degree. Well, now that things grow closer and dates are due for important things, I find myself stressing out and causing some mild flares. On top of trying to go back to school, the debt from loans and books is weighing on me a little mentally. I’m also trying to plan me and my fiancés wedding; admittedly thats more fun than stress, but it’s still on my mind. I feel like my head is so full I can’t think. Any advice on how to break up some of the stress and help the brain fog from the mild and more mental flares? Any small activities I could do seated to try and de-stress?

I have lived a number of years with multiple chronic/incurable conditions. This week I finished my assessment with my new therapist and in-addition to validating all the existing mental health diagnoses I knew already, she gave me a tentative new one of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Now, other than having seen "Girl Interrupted" I didn't know much about what BPD actually is. The more I've learned though, the more moments from my past have started to make sense. A lot of "ah-ha" moments for me this week.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder  #Anxiety #Depression  #PTSD  #MentalHealth  #Fibromyalgia  #ChronicFatigueSyndrome  #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis  #ChronicFatigue  #ChronicPain #BreastCancer  #ThyroidCancer #PanicAttacks  #PanicAttack #ChronicIllness

When getting treatment for metal health issues, we're often told that forcing ourselves to do things like socializing and activities (especially when the only thing you really want to do is lie in bed) is a way to combat depression. In DBT I've heard it referred to as "opposite action" or "behavioral activation".

However, I'm starting to think there must be a physical aspect to my exhaustion as well. Even when I have fun things planned with people I enjoy being around, my head feels heavy, my eyes want to close, I'd rather be sleeping. Everyday I wake up and immediately look forward to going back to sleep. Words cannot convey how incredibly frustrating this is. I am 27 and have the energy levels of an 82 year old. Not to mention, it affects my performance at work, my relationships, every aspect of my life is impacted by this constant sleepiness. I've gotten my vitamin levels and thyroid checked and all came back normal. So what's wrong with me??#Depression #ChronicFatigue #MDD #MentalHealth

Whether or not fatigue is getting to me, I find music playing can help my energy immensely. I’ll have the energy to cook if 80s classic rock is playing. I’ll actually remember and embrace self-care if soothing instrumentals are in the air. Whatever the need music will get me out of my head and help me take the action I need. Anyone else have a fav genre or artist to go with an activity or “recharge” self-care time? #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #Fibromyalgia #BreastCancer